Episode 033: Author Soraya Chemaly and Rage Becomes Her

Best-selling author of Rage Becomes Her, Soraya Chemaly knows something about anger. From a tale about her mother furiously, but privately, smashing plates, to an analysis of the influence of gender and political roles and the power of women’s rage, Soraya provides a thought-provoking look at how to use anger as a force for change, and what we can do to ensure we’re less angry in the future. This is a don’t miss show with the 4 Chicks and special guest, Soraya Chemaly!

 

 

Soraya Chemaly

 

 

 

 

 

 

Resources for This Show:

Soraya Chemaly: Rage Becomes Her
The Women’s Media Center Speech Project

4 Chicks Brilliance Bombs, courtesy of Soraya Chemaly:

  1. “There is a cadence to the work of change that requires us to step back and step forward. We need to be aware of that.”
  2. Don’t re-create the wheel for change. Build on the work started by others and give them their due.  “This newfound articulation should be used in support of their experience and work.”
  3. “Just grow good people. There’s nothing about manners that has to be gendered.”
  4. “The same way girls are supposed to tame their hair & cross their legs, they’re supposed to bite their tongues and swallow their words. We have to stop that.”

Show Notes:

00:41 Introducing Soraya Chemaly

01:29 Rage Becomes Her–Title makes a negative emotion powerful & almost attractive.

03:00 How did you come to write this book?

03:57 Gender inequality, shock & despair around election become propellants.

04:39 Using the lens of anger to examine social, political and personal issues.

05:50 The perfect time to discuss anger because we’re collectively pissed off!

06:29 We’re “allowed” to be publicly enraged in times of political tumult, then expected to resume our nurturing roles, leaving the serious business to men.

08:30 How do we make this moment last for permanent change without just sounding like the current angry mob?

09:00 Political activity plus an awareness that the work is exhausting and a marathon helps further the cause. “There is a cadence to the work of change that requires us to step back and step forward. We need to be aware of that.”

Political activity + awareness that the work is a marathon helps further the cause. 'There is a cadence to the work of change that requires us to step back and step forward. We need to be aware of that.'~Soraya Chemaly #motivation… Click To Tweet

10:15 Don’t recreate the wheel. Build on the work started by others. “This newfound articulation should be used in support of their experience and work.”

Don't recreate the wheel. Build on the work started by others. 'This newfound articulation should be used in support of their experience and work.' #motivation #women #womeninbusiness #womenleaders #entrepreneur @rgrahamphotos… Click To Tweet

11:29 Why are we as women only now paying attention to women of color? White women need to show support.

12:41 Listening is key.

12:54 How do we not feel personally indicted?

13:50 Status divides us; listening can unite us.

Status divides us; listening can unite us. #motivation #women #womeninbusiness #womenleaders #entrepreneur @rgrahamphotos @kmmdisc @kristinsmedley @maryfbontempo @schemaly Click To Tweet

16:50 Conversation shouldn’t end when the election is over.

18:20 Is the glass ceiling a thick wall of sludgey testosterone?

19:48 “Let’s get boys saying, ‘My god, I really admire that WOMAN. I want to be like that woman.'”

Let's get boys saying, 'My god, I really admire that WOMAN. I want to be like that woman. #motivation #women #womeninbusiness #womenleaders #entrepreneur @rgrahamphotos @kmmdisc @kristinsmedley @maryfbontempo @schemaly Click To Tweet

22:45 Kids see women as authorities until they’re around seven. Representation in media and technology will change the narrative.

25:50 Women need to claim the power to change our minds without being viewed as irrational.

26:50 Dismissiveness  starts at home, when your family ignores you the first 15 times you say something and then asks, “Why are you yelling?” after the 16th!

28:00 The twin devils of Denial & Silencing

31:50 Permission to say, “Oh, I’m angry.” It’s that simple.

32:00 The recovering Catholics note how religious institutions ritually silence women. Says Soraya, “That’s just dumb.” She’s right.

34:16 Guilt, shame and the difference between men and women.

35:15 Women can use our power as nurturers to “Just grow good people. There’s nothing about manners that has to be gendered.”~Soraya Chemaly

Women can use our power as nurturers to 'Just grow good people. There's nothing about manners that has to be gendered.'~Soraya Chemaly #motivation #women #womeninbusiness #womenleaders #entrepreneur @rgrahamphotos @kmmdisc… Click To Tweet

37:00 “The same way girls are supposed to tame their hair & cross their legs, they’re supposed to bite their tongues and swallow their words. We have to stop that.”~Soraya Chemaly

'The same way girls are supposed to tame their hair & cross their legs, they're supposed to bite their tongues and swallow their words. We have to stop that.'~Soraya Chemaly #motivation #women #womeninbusiness #womenleaders… Click To Tweet

38:00 Let’s hold our institutions accountable for teaching emotional competence.

Thank you, Soraya, for this brilliant conversation!

And finally: 

Give us a review on Apple Podcasts (iTunes)–here’s how!

 

 

 

 

Special thanks to Hubspot writer @Ginny Mineo for this post! https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/write-itunes-review

 

 

Contact us!